Bad News for People Pleasers- are you one?

Covid is a people pleaser’s nightmare. With the pressure of the pandemic changing, the intensity of social distancing and mask wearing ebbs and flows. One weekend I could be all-mask, all-day and then a month later, be comfortable bare-faced at a barbecue.

Being a part-time people pleaser, I found myself continuously justifying, explaining and rationalizing my mask position of the moment. I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable and occasionally exchanged my own personal comfort to go with the flow.

When you get way down there and I mean like 5 layers deep, being a people pleasing is a matter of worthiness. If you walk on eggshells around someone or think you’re responsible for the happiness of others (‘why are you so mad at me’) you may be relying on external sources for self-worth.

In exchange for getting self worth, you give them power to MAKE you feel a certain way. When you learn to be the gatekeeper of your own feelings, you no longer take responsible for the emotional state of others. Instead, you just manage yours. Period.

Would you feel more comfortable wearing a mask when you make a visit? Do you wish your friends would keep more distance but you don’t want to be rude? There may be an underling desire for approval from others if you can’t find it in yourself to put your personal comfort first in this Covid craziness. 

And as we give ourselves position to ebb and flow with the Covid climate, lets check our judgement at the door. Look at those feelings you may be harboring about those loosie goosie non-mask wearers or the up-tight crazy mask people. Make like Elsa and “Let it go.”